Living Through A Pandemic…

With A Newborn

Guest Post By Carly Bruce

It’s Mother’s Day this weekend and while I have a mother, I don’t have any knowledge or experience of what it’s like to BE a mother (but if you’d like to see how I fared holding today’s guest writer’s baby it’ll be linked down below.) So this week, I asked my friend, and new mom, Carly Bruce to take over the blog and share what she’s learned in her first few months in her new role as baby wrangler with a bonus pandemic subplot! Happy reading!

Woah, so from that title you were likely ready to really dive into what living with a newborn during this pandemic is like. I get it. But here’s the reality, living with a newborn in general is the toughest and probably craziest thing you’ll ever do in your life. The pandemic really just adds those little icing flowers you’d get on your birthday cake as a kid, to your “WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD” cake. Please wash your hands before having a slice.

On February 2nd 2020, right as the half time show of Super Bowl LIV was starting, I became a mom. My son was brought into this world via C-Section not caring that any of us were missing Shakira. On a serious note, having a c-section was not my plan at all. But looking back now, I remember ranting to the nurses about how amazing it was having an all female staff around delivering my baby. From the nurses, to the doctors, all women. August learned a little something about #feminism seconds after being born, and for that reason, I raise a Playtex Baby Nurser Bottle to them.

Now let’s rewind 9 months from the moment we heard a group of doctors and nurses scream “HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUGUST”, and you’ll see me throwing up in the Pittsburgh International Airport bathroom. Now let’s fast forward a week after that, I take a pregnancy test and you know the rest. And by the rest, I mean the throwing up, the back pain (my back actually will never be the same), and the exhaustion parts. It’s all true. We all experience pregnancy differently, but we can all mutually bond over it just the same.

Now that I’m a little over 3 months into this, I have been able to get (some) sleep and can start to regroup my thoughts from what has happened. I have some bullet points I’d like to talk about, accompanied, of course, by what you guys have been waiting for, pictures of my little man.

Let’s start with the those classic hospital blankets you see ALL new baby’s posted in on someone’s Facebook (even Elon Musk’s new baby “X Æ A-12 Musk.”) Anyway, they’re horrible.

BUT, DO NOT get rid of them! “Why would I want to keep something you said is horrible?” you may ask. Well because, it LOOKS horrible, and you know what else looks horrible? Poop. So take as many as you can of those bad boys home and stick them on top of your nice cute changing table cover that matches the decor of the nursery that your aunt got you whenever you know what is about to be in that diaper is not going to end well. After it doesn’t end well, just throw. it. away.

You’ll thank me later.

*takes a huge breath*

Speaking of having an aesthetic standard to uphold, don’t buy those photos they take of your baby in the hospital. Find a really cool photographer who does “Fresh 48” sessions. It’s a chance for you and your partner to be photographed with your baby as well, and not just your fingers. Moms to be, I know you might cringe at the thought of being photographed within 48 hours of giving birth, but trust me, you’ll want those photos. Plus you’ll be surprised what posing with your baby for the first time does to your confidence.

Ok so you get home with your baby. Now what? You’re hoping to get some sleep? No. Get ready for a baby parade. Yes. A baby parade, but the parade has one baby, and 100’s of people wanting to see said baby. It. Is. Insane. There’s a scene in the movie “mother!”, where people are throwing the new baby around to celebrate them, not meaning to hurt him, and that’s all I’m going to say. If you’ve seen the movie, you know the rest. It just doesn’t end well. That’s where my mind as a brand new mom ALWAYS went.

Photograph By: Destiny Reber Photography

We brought August home about 3 weeks before the talk of the pandemic really started happening. Once things got more serious, we unfortunately had to start social distancing August and ourselves from our families. It’s been incredibly heartbreaking knowing that they just want to love up on him. However we, as parents, needed to make the decision we thought was right for our family during this time. I really hope they know that they aren’t the only ones counting down the days until they can hangout with August again, because boy oh boy, my partner and I are as well.

We. Miss. Date. Nights. I also super miss them because we always would find the coolest spots around the city for me to get content for my food page!

Date nights. I know you’re tired. I know you’re getting use to having your baby here. I know you want to spend every second with your new baby. But don’t forget how that baby got here. And not even in the *wink wink* way, but in the you guys made another life because of the love you share with each other kinda way. Make sure to remember that your partner is going through this as well. Go on a date and be understanding. Be understanding if one of you has a little separation anxiety from your baby. Be understanding if your partner rambles on about the baby the whole time you’re eating the appetizer. But also encourage the kind of conversations you used to have before the baby and even before pregnancy.

(I refer to us in this photo as BB, before baby)

I couldn’t just skim over the *wink wink* from above! Let’s talk about the deed that made a baby. You won’t be able to for a few weeks. And by few it’s averaged to be about 8 weeks, but we’re all different. We’ve all used the line “I can’t, I’m on my period,” which has a 50 / 50 success rate depending on what your partners response is. But this time, it’s “I can’t, because my body is trying to heal itself out after creating and carrying life for 9 months.What my partner and I had to learn was that there are other forms than just sexual intimacy. We found our intimacy through massages and cuddling. Did it make up completely for not having the sexual intimacy piece involved? No. But it did help us get through it. I know personally I needed reassurance from my partner that he was still attracted to me. I had just lost 75 pounds, gained 35 back during pregnancy, and even a few weeks later still kinda looked pregnant still. It’s very very easy to love your baby, but sometimes very very hard to love yourself. If I look back and truly regret one thing, it’s that I did not always have the best outlook on my body during and after pregnancy. But I had to take a step back. A HUGE step back and realize that my body just made a life. Like he has a social security number and everything.

And lastly, don’t blink. I’m serious. I think I’ve blinked once and August is now giggling and rolling around. How? How did my oddly shaped head at birth baby who slept all the time, grow into a little human who has specific music taste already?!

This is literally not even .1% of the things that come with being a new mom. I’m slowly realizing that maybe I could rant about being a mom all day… but then I have to remember that’s not the only thing I am.

I am still a creative. I make sure to pick up my camera at least once a day. I try to continue posting the content that inspires me. From my baby to body positivity to yummy food.

I am still a business woman, who continued running a recording studio (@serenitysoundspgh) with my partner while being all kinds of pregnant. We started remodeling a few weeks before we found out about the pregnancy!

I am still a supportive partner. I was 8 months pregnant and drove to New York City from Pittsburgh with my partner because I believed in his vision so much. And now here we are developing the same artist because of that trip, and continuing to support each other.

And most importantly, I am still a woman. A woman who needs to continue to love and nurture herself everyday.

Wash your hands & Happy Mother’s Day!

-Carly

Thanks so much to Carly for letting us see what life is like caring for a newborn and herself as a new mom, during the pandemic and the tips and tricks she’s already learned 3 months into her motherhood journey! As you might have noticed from reading about her life, Carly wears many hats! New mom, food blogger, influencer, business woman…just to name a few! Keep up with her life and see how little August is growing by following her on Instagram at @carlyyforsure_ or, if food’s more your style, follow her at @whatkaitate_ to see the cool eats she’s been finding across the country!

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